The Phoenix Effect: Melrose

The name sounds like a medical condition for anyone living in Chicago in the dead of winter, hankering to escape to the dry, sun-kissed air of Arizona.

“What’s wrong with Mom?”

“Doc says she is suffering from…THE PHOENIX EFFECT”

But, it’s not that. It’s not even close.

So what is it?

It’s a workout. And it’s hard AF. In a good way.

9:30 am on Sunday, I filled up a jug of water and set out to discover new ways to be in pain.

I stroll in. It’s packed. People are all standing around holding these metal poles. I’m a follower, so naturally, I grab one.

The “coach” gets us started. While we all stand there with our poles in our hands (no pun), he demonstrates the workout.

Circuit training:

10 stations. 1st round 45 seconds with a 15 second break. Twice on each station.

2nd round 35 seconds with a 10 second break. Twice on each station. Some stations NO BREAK. Fuck.

Ok, I can handle this. Right?

We begin with a warmup using the pole. I thought we were going to battle each other with these things, hence the reference of Phoenix. Last warrior standing is crowned THE Phoenix?…Get it?

We begin.

Shuttle run on Melrose…BOOM! Love it.

Rotating box jumps. Sure, why not?

Medicine ball squats “gripping” the ball with your hands in a fist. Uh, ok. Got it.

Sassy forearm planks. Rotate and tap each ass cheek. Sure, I signed a waiver.

And so on and so forth…

By the end…I was dead…I was sweating like a nun in a cucumber farm, but I felt great.

Overall, I recommend this place. It’s fun. The energy is right. The people are super cool and who knows if you ever find yourself living in Chicago, dead of winter, maybe just make your escape to L.A. and try out *THE PHOENIX EFFECT.

Get started HERE.

*Consult your physician first.