Read these words: “You are a fat, worthless pig.” “You’re too thin. No man is ever going to want you.” “Ugly. Big. Gross.” Horrifying comments on some awful website? The rant of an abusive, controlling boyfriend? No; shockingly, these are the actual words young women are saying to themselves on any typical day. For some, such thoughts are fleeting, but for others, this dialogue plays on a constant, punishing loop, according to a new exclusive Glamour survey of more than 300 women of all sizes. Our research found that, on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily—nearly one for every waking hour. And a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day. It’s so easy to tell someone that they are beautiful, but even if they hear the words, they might not believe them. Just take a look at these eating disorder statistics, you might be surprised by it (or you might not), but there are so many women who are repeatedly telling themselves that they are too fat and that they need to lose weight. Our experiment (which you can read more about down below) gives us the shocking truth that 97% admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment… keep on reading to find out what else we learned.

• Our Experiment
• Why Your Body May Not Be the Problem
• Silencing Your Inner “Mean Girl”
• How Change Can Happen
• The Real (Really Harsh) Things Women Think About Their Bodies
• Secrets of the 3% of Women Who Love Their Bodies

Our experiment went like this: We challenged young women across the country to note every negative or anxious thought they had about their bodies over the course of one full day. The results shocked us: A whopping 97 percent admitted to having at least one “I hate my body” moment.

“That is a lot, yet I’m not totally surprised,” says Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a Cincinnati psychologist who specializes in body image and helped Glamour design the survey. “It’s become such an accepted norm to put yourself down that if someone says she likes her body, she’s the odd woman out. I was in a group discussion recently, and when one woman said, ‘I actually feel OK about the way I look,’ another woman scrunched up her face and said, ‘I have never in my whole life heard anyone say that—and I’m not sure I even believe you.’ That’s how pervasive this negative body talk is. It’s actually more acceptable to insult your body than to praise it.”