Ok, here's the dealeo.  I have a big fat juicy birthday coming up at the end of March.  Let's just say, it has a "4" in it.  And don't think I'm not reminded of it e v e r y   s i n g l e   d a y  when I  stare shell shocked catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror.   A little more slack here.  Another fine crease there.  Wow, this is for real!  Yes, folks, I've arrived at that no-woman's land we chiquitas hit in our, gulp, mid 40's.  A wee bit South of getting slicey and dicey about it ('tis simply the grossest way I've ever put it) and too North not to start getting serious.  Botox and fillers can only do so much in the face of that she-devil, Gravity.  Now is the time when she starts to throw her weight around, flexing her herculean muscle while swiftly gnawing away at ours. Yup, that cruel beeatch Lady Time has half of Hollywood's 40 year-olds looking like extras from The Chipmunks.  Plumped and poofed like a Sofa-u-Love showroom.

Not gonna happen to me. Sure, I could just let it all go and head fearlessly into the world of a Woman Overlooked. The hideous facts are that as women age here in America, we start to become invisible members of society. The more lines on our face, the less we are seen, accounted for.  As our beauty fades, and by beauty I mean youth,  we start to lose our value. Our collateral.  A woman's youth is her stock and when she loses it, she she can no longer trade.  Scary. Upsetting.  And totally effed up.  Aging is so complicated and challenging a journey for us, it's no wonder books, essays and college courses in feminist theory are taught about it.  The socio-political analysis of female aging and the fear of aging is profound.  

Folks, it's too deep to get into a whole seminar about it here. Too many questions, angles and opinions – is it the way we are perceived by men that creates and perpetuates this phenomenon?  Is it cultural-centric/specific?  Is there scientific data to support why this exists socially?   Yadayadayada til manana. 

So let's get down to brass tacks. One part of me wants to say F.U. to this societal bullshit and embrace Nature in all her glory – bring it on, I say, and I'll only grow more beautiful inside.  But who am I kidding.  I live in L.A.  We eat vanity for breakfast. At 7 am you can't find an empty bike in a spinning class from We-ho to Santa Monica.  On every Pilates Plus reformer there's a girl wondering how many calories she's burning in each pose.  We are all fighting the good fight. To be younger, fitter and feel better than we did in college.  

So, I surrender.  And admit it.   Aging is just…so not fun.

And that's why I'm here, as a guide so we can face the bitch head on together, gather our master plan and psyche her fat ass out.  As seamlessly as possible, at that.  Look, I don't want to disappear. Maybe if I was Hilary Clinton powerful, I wouldn't have that fear, because the world would be forced to look at me, to listen to what I have to say…(Oh here, I go, I don't wanna get political, I just wanna get to the goodies for you!!)  (Not to mention, what DO I have to say?)

( And, btw, even if I was Hilary, I'd still be tweaking my shit anyway.)

But gang, the truth is, I just want to look natural, elegant as I get deeper in my 40's… not 25, but kick ass hot and hovering somewhere in my….late 30's??  For now?  Is that too much to ask for?  I'm not at all afraid of a line or two, a few light creases, sure, I'm down! I want my face to move.  To tell the story of my life.   And I don't want D.S.L.'s either.  Blech.  But I don't feel comfortable with sag, jowls and that thing hanging under my neck someone said, "come Thanksgiving, you better run."  

So what do I do when I'm not ready for a (I refuse to spell the word)  F _ _ E   L _ _ T ?

What's a woman, a mom of two, turning forty-blank to do when she needs some serious, upper level help??

Enter EXILIS.

Da-na-na-naaaa.

Ok, I'm gonna give you the DATA below.

But I'm gonna tell you my Groomed L.A. experience to date, after two treatments on my face and neck.

Um, this shizzy is working.

I don't want to get TOO excited, because I need to go for a few more sessions.  But if I'm NOT hallucinating (not since college has that happened, thankfully.  Mom of two hallucinating, uh, not my idea of fun) then I am telling you from my lips to the G-Almighty's ears…my face is…

TIGHTENING.

LIFTING. 

NOT SAGGING AS MUCH.

LESS JOWLY.

It's freaky.

OH, and wicked line of my cheek…Is fading.  I've had this line injected, filled, and my daughter still says "Oh, Mommy, you have a boo boo on your face. A big red scratch."  No honey, that's a crevasse known as Getting The Fuck Older, but thanks for pointing that out.

I was turned on by the brilliant laser savvy, cellulite zapping insider Lynn Banfi, of Per Amore, to PRIMARY SKIN CARE on San Vincente, a small office in a little mini-mall that you've probably driven by a thousand times.  I LOVE finding a little gem like this where they are working these high end machines and doing a ton of stuff without the pomp of a Bev Hills spot.  The place is hopping every time I go in and I hear the Dr. Louis Acosta is fabulous doing all sorts of things. But the Exilis laser is now becoming my baby.  I feel like Angelina must have felt seeing baby Zahara for the first time. I just want to take it home with me forever and love it like a child of my own. But I can't cuz it's like a $70,000 machine and I could never find clothes to fit it.  Let alone, it would stick out like a sore thumb amongst my other two kinder.

Read on about what this Exilis is about.  It's not just for faces but for busting fat all over the bod.

What is exilis laser:

Exilis treatment is a new body contouring for fat reduction without surgery. It is one of the latest procedure in non surgical liposuction and has the same benefits as freezing liposuction (coolsulpting by zeltiq) and zerona laser.  This body contouring technology uses radio frequency to first break up the fats before they can be removed from the patient’s body. This new treatment can be used on any part of the body including elbow, knees, thighs and stomach. One of the clinics offering this treatment is New York City dermatologist Dr. Patricia Wexler.

How does exilis work:

The exilis rf machine has the ability to penetrate deep into the different layers of the skin, reaching even the subcutaneous fat layer, the fat just under the skin, the exilis laser treatment can effectively help patients to remove fats in areas that might need surgical liposuction.

One of the benefit of the exilis machine is that it has a accompanying cooling device which helps to cool the skin down after each rf charge. This helps the machine to be able to go deeper into the skin and get rid of the fats that are underneath that.

If you are a doctor and wants to find out more about exilis machines, the official website is at www.exilis.com

How long before we can see exilis results

The results of any exilis procedure are quite visible after 2-3 weeks of treatment. Altogether, the entire treatments need about 4-6 sessions, with each session needing to be 10 days a part from each other.  The body contouring results can last the patient for a long time if he (yes, exilis can be for men as well) or she maintains a healthy lifestyle.

Exilis has been approved by the FDA for the removal of wrinkles and fine lines. It has not been approved for body contouring although doctors are beginning to use is for such purposes. Currently, exilis is available in many cities including NYC, los angeles, las vegas etc.

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Before I start getting my peeps there I want to finish my treatment BUT I'm too anxious and excited and I wanted to share something I am pulling from their website – just in case anyone can't wait, and wants to bite at the bit.

Oh and it FEELS amazing…omg, the best face massage EVER!!  Lots of gooey ultrasound gel and this warm wand, and I'm snoring within seconds in the loving hands of Tricia, the talented aesthetician.  I'll circle back on this after two to four more sessions but for now, mama's pleased.  WAY pleased.  Talk about a birthday prezzie!!